


Zenny And The Pussycats

by tamanegichipolla (ImJustNutty)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Saeran is in this protect him, assumes Seven's good ending, not really an AU just a circumstance I guess, the K-pop AU nobody wanted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 14:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9612638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustNutty/pseuds/tamanegichipolla
Summary: The RFA decide to fulfill their destiny as a K-Pop band, riding the Korean wave to boost Zen's popularity, Elizabeth the 3rd's fame, and drive Jaehee insane.





	

**Author's Note:**

> don't take this too seriously I stress wrote this fic

Seven laced his fingers together, peering out over his hands at everyone. Zen could have sworn that at that exact same moment, light glinted across the lenses of his glasses.

“You must all be wondering why I have called you all here today,” Seven said ominously, and the room suddenly felt two degrees colder.

“Yes, very much so, Luciel. Do you know how much work I have?” Jaehee stood up, slamming her palms on the table, and Zen’s empty glass toppled over. “You said this was urgent, so it’d better be—“

“So we’re gonna start a Korean pop band.”

Silence. Dead silence. Across the table, Saeran’s left eye twitched, and Zen wondered if he was going to murder someone there and then. Ideally it would be his brother. Less ideally, it would be Zen, because everything had to be about Zen.

“Did you just say we’re gonna—“ Yoosung started weakly, but Seven charged forth.

“You heard it right here, straight from the source. We’re gonna be a K-pop band, and we’re going to be called Jumin and the Pussycats—“

MC raised a hand. “I’m sure that counts as copyright infringeme—“

“Jumin has already delegated the appropriate resources in C&R to start a record company—“

Jaehee looked like she was going to collapse. Zen pushed her chair closer to her just in case she did, so she would fall into the seat.

“—and Zen will be the lead singer, Zenny-nya.”

Zen glared at Seven, but the effect was somewhat diminished by the sneezing fit that immediately accompanied it.

“Yoosung will be the backup vocals and Saeran will be one of the dancers.”

“Saeyoung, you are officially out of your mind.” Saeran closed his eyes and leaned back into his chair with much more calmness than Zen would have expected. Heck, Saeran looked calmer than Zen himself felt.

“But Saeran, every time you dance along to those Super Junior music videos you look so good!” said MC, and Saeran’s left eyelid started twitching again. It was a miracle that he hadn’t killed her yet in the year that she and the twins spent living together. MC just had that effect on people, Zen supposed.

“My beloved wife and Jaehee will be the choreographers and songwriters, Jumin will fund everything, and I will be the manager!” Seven crowed, looking altogether much too smug.

Jaehee all but melted into her chair, like the saddest puddle ever. “This must be a bad dream.”

Yoosung blinked slowly, like he’d just woken up. “Wait, then why are we going to be called Jumin and the Pussycats, if Jumin isn’t even in the band?”

“ _That’s_ your main concern?!” Zen shouted, surprising himself and everyone else at the table with his sudden outburst. “This is just another one of his _stupid_ whims, just so he can pretend to be running a band dedicated to his _stupid cat_ —“

“Oh yes, thank you for reminding me, Zen. Elly the 3rd will be our glorious mascot.”

“—and if he thinks _I’m_ going to be a part of this, then he’s got a big surprise coming.”

“Rehearsals start this Tuesday!” Seven added, with a grin. “Now, now, Zen, don’t misunderstand. This was entirely my idea. It’s cat-themed solely to get funding from Jumin, but this is all to garner more popularity for you, the RFA’s rising celebrity!”

Zen blinked. “Me?”

MC turned her brightest smile on him. “Exactly! I’m sorry Zen, this was partially my fault. I like K-pop bands, and then I introduced Saeran to it and he liked it too, and then Seven found out and this happened, _but_ it’s bound to get you even more fans! You can sing and dance well, so you’d definitely be a hit!”

Zen had to resist the urge to rush over and kiss her hand. “Oh, you’ve always understood me so well,” he gushed, heart swelling with joy. He flipped his ponytail over his shoulder. “Then yes, I vow to do my best in this. Just you watch, MC, I’ll be the best K-pop idol the world has ever seen!”

He barely noticed Yoosung rolling his eyes and muttering to Saeran. “What are we, chopped liver?”

 

 

 

With the power of C&R’s money, Jaehee hired a top dance choreographer and songwriter to do everything, and MC had kindly offered to oversee everything. Of course, Jumin hadn’t lessened Jaehee’s usual workload, so Jaehee’s work was essentially done with regards to the K-pop adventure.

“Let’s take it from the top,” said choreographer, snapping his fingers. Even indoors in the studio, he wouldn’t take off his sunglasses. He flipped his hair over his shoulders. “You boys are just no good, no good at all! Except Zen of course.”

Yoosung doubled over in exhaustion. “Can…we….maybe…. _wheeze_ …get….a break…”

Saeran was breathing heavily, but doing considerably better. “Yoosung, I think we should practise more.”

Zen, on the other hand, was quite enjoying it. “C’mon, Yoosung, don’t be such a wimp.” Nodding to the choreographer, he got into position, hands on his hips.

Jumin nodded approvingly to Seven, cradling Elizabeth the 3rd in his arms, turning away whenever Seven tried to stroke her. “Zen seems to be taking to his role well. He’ll definitely be the most ideal face for this band. Next to my beloved Elizabeth’s face, of course.” He pressed a kiss to his cat’s head.

Seven gave his most shit-eating grin. “Yes, Zen does look very good in that skintight outfit, doesn’t he?”

Jumin looked at Seven. “Zen looks quite handsome in it, yes. But he looks good in everything he wears, basical—“

“And those cat ears, huh? Once we’d pumped him full of antihistamines he just looks like the most adorable kitty cat, nyan~?”

Jumin blinked.

“Sure gets a man’s heart pumpin’, hot blood stirrin’, get a funny feeling in your—“

“Luciel Choi.”

“Yes, Jumin, nyan~?”

“I am not going to murder you for this.”

“Oh, that’s very generous of you—“

“But I think Zen will, when I tell him what you just said.”

“W-wait, Jumin, don’t—“

“Maybe I could lend him that limited edition baseball bat I have with that famous baseball player’s signature on it.”

“OKAY I’LL STOP PLEASE DON’T MAKE CREEPY DEATH THREATS ANYMORE.”

 

 

 

MC snapped her fingers. “Hey, hey Jaehee. Earth to Jaehee.” She turned to Saeran. “I think Jaehee’s gone.”

Jaehee blinked, for the first time in minutes. “I hate cats because of Mr Han now, but _Zen looks really amazing_ …”

MC gently pulled Jaehee by the shoulder away from the computer screen. “It’s not good for your eyes when they’re two centimetres from the computer screen.”

Saeran snorted. “Hopefully everyone who gets this video popping up on their browser pages whenever they’re trying to click on any video appreciates it as much.” Saeran refused to watch the recorded videos himself. He’d looked disgusted when he’d tossed the costume into the laundry bin, but it was obvious to everyone how much he’d enjoyed dancing and going through the routines. Undoubtedly it added some stability in his life, having a regularly scheduled activity.

Jaehee’s face drifted closer to the screen again. “If I could frame a video and put it on my wall, I would.” The video cut to a closeup of Yoosung as he sang his part, and immediately she flinched away from the screen and glowered at the screen as she clicked to fast forward to Zen’s next section in the video. “Maybe I should buy an iPad, then fix it to my wall…”

MC turned to look at Yoosung, who was lying face down on the sofa. “Yoosung, planking is a very outdated meme.” He tried to reply, but it just sounded like an aggrieved moan. Actually, it was probably just an aggrieved moan.

“Yoosung isn’t used to exercising so much,” Saeran explained, sympathetically. “It’s like back when I’d first started exercising too.”

In the early days, after they’d gotten Saeran back, after they’d flushed the drugs and the brainwashing out of him, he’d been a wreck. In his desperation to find anything to distract himself from his own mind, he’d turned to exercise. MC remembered when he’d run himself to the bone, until he couldn’t even get out of the bathtub which he’d throw himself into when he came back. He’d eventually learned to moderate his exercise since, but it was still recent enough for him to empathise with Yoosung.

The video ended, and Jaehee snapped back to her normal self. “Actually, besides Zen, Saeran appears to be a very good dancer.”

Saeran lowered his head humbly. “I try.”

“Yoosung, however, still looks like a floundering whale. Whoever did the editing job on this deserves an award, for cutting out all his terrible dancing—“

A louder, more aggrieved moan came from the sofa.

 

 

 

MC set the stack of papers on the table. Her hair was in a bun, and she’d chosen to wear her glasses. Seven nudged Zen with his elbow. “That’s my wife. Stop looking at her.”

Zen raised an eyebrow. “She’s literally talking to us. It would be rude not to.”

“Nobody look at my wife! She’s the hottest secretary ever! But she’s mine! Remember that!” Seven announced loudly, and Saeran rolled his eyes.

“Settle down, everyone,” said MC, calmly as ever. “Within the first week of posting our video up, setting up the website, and making our first single available on iTunes, it has had over ten thousand downloads!”

“Numbers may not be accurate since I hacked a bunch of accounts to make the purchase whether they wanted to or not,” added Seven.

“That doesn’t sound legal,” muttered Yoosung.

“I hacked some too, so make that doubly illegal,” said Saeran in a soft voice.

Jaehee had already faceplanted on the surface of the table, no doubt running a dozen scenarios on how to handle this if the legal team asked her why they were being accused of theft and misconduct, amongst other things.

“I’ve started a merchandise store, and the Elly plushies are doing extremely well! Even better are the posters we photoshopped with Zen cradling Elly!”

Zen was extremely thankful that MC had had the good sense to suggest photoshopping instead of going along with Seven and Jumin’s insane plan to actually have Zen hold Elly for hours while they did the photoshoot. In the end, they’d photoshopped all the pictures starring the band members and Elizabeth the 3rd, mainly because 1) Jumin wouldn’t trust Saeran to hold his cat and 2) Jumin wouldn’ trust Yoosung to hold his cat. 2) was partly because Yoosung would be too weak willed to resist Seven’s wheedling and pleading to kidnap Elizabeth. Jumin would actually trust Saeran more on that front, but pragmatically he still maintained concerns that Saeran might take out his violent urges on his cat.

“Hey, did anyone buy posters with me on it?” asked Yoosung, leaning across the table.

MC peered at the paper in her hand. “Uh, yes. Two people. They appear to have been bought by your parents.”

Yoosung slumped across the table, and Saeran patted his head. “There, there,” he said, in the most monotonous voice Zen had ever heard.

“For now, I think we should continue more scheduled practice. The songwriter sent me two more songs, which I’ve forwarded to all of you.” MC put the papers down on the table. “Any concerns?”

Zen raised his hand.

“Yes, Zen?”

“Can Yoosung be fired?”

Yoosung looked up from where he’d been sprawled across the table. “What.”

“I think he’s ruining the overall aesthetic of the band.”

Seven slammed his hands on the table. “Oh no no no no no, we’re only one week in and we’re already breaking up!” He turned and grabbed Zen by the shoulders, shaking furiously. “YOU’RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART, ZEN!”

Jaehee grabbed Seven by the shoulders from behind, an unmeasurable fury in her eye. “Get your hands off Zen’s beautiful shoulders at this exact moment or so help me God I _will. End. You._ ”

“Yoosung’s dance moves are tearing the choreography apart!” Zen yelled, still being furiously shaken.

“I’m getting better!” whined Yoosung.

“Um,” commented Saeran.

“No, we’re keeping Yoosung because he’s the cute one out of the three of you. Zen’s the pretty face, Saeran’s the cool one, and Yoosung’s the cute one.” MC ended the meeting (and the argument) efficiently thereafter by walking over to Seven and dragging him out of the room by the collar.

 

 

 

The whole gig lasted three months.

Yoosung’s dance skills improved somewhat, aided with Saeran’s personal coaching. The two of them got along oddly well, considering Yoosung’s close relationship with Saeran’s tormentor. That wasn’t the issue.

The issue was Zen’s big, fat ego.

“My what.”

“Big, fat ego, I believe, is what Seven just said. Those aren’t very big words, Zen, so I think you should know what that means,” said Jumin, coolly.

“You have no chemistry with the other dancers on the stage,” elaborated Seven. “You act as though you’re the only person on the stage.” MC remained pointedly silent even as Zen stared at her questioningly.

“Apparently your ability to sing and dance for musicals doesn’t extend to singing and dancing as part of a K-pop group,” added Jumin, just to add insult to injury.

“My ratings are higher than ever before!” protested Zen. “What are you talking about?”

Seven slid over an iPad with an article on it. “This article summarises it quite nicely.”

Zen read the whole thing in five seconds. “It says our songs are good.”

“They called the band Zenny And The Pussycats,” declared Jumin, as though he was announcing the demise of his very own cat. “Utterly unforgivable.”

“That I’ve outshone your stupid cat, which doesn’t even appear in any video?!”

“Your inability to work together with your team resulted in you shining too brightly, and taking the spotlight away from Elly!” shouted Seven.

“I cannot allow this to continue, I’m sorry,” said Jumin, standing, bowing stiffly and then leaving.

Seven fell to the floor on his knees. “MY PROFITS!” he cried, wringing his hands towards the ceiling.

Zen blinked. “What is even happening.”

MC walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jumin just wanted a stupid cat project, Seven’s being his usual self, Yoosung has med school finals coming up and Saeran decided he’d rather just learn K-pop dancing from Youtube videos on his own.” She pulled out a cheque from her pocket, which had been folded neatly. “Your earnings for this past month.”

He unfolded it and resisted the urge to gape at the amount written there. He calmed himself, then folded it again.

“It’s...it’s an acceptable amount,” he managed, at last.

“One more thing to add to your resume,” she said, with a smile, before picking her husband up by the collar and dragging him out of their dining room again.

Zen stared at the cheque in his hand.

Just another day in the RFA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know absolutely nothing about k-pop except I have one friend who's in love with super junior and that's it


End file.
